A Woman, NOT a Baby

I am often confused about the role of women today. Some say that you shouldn't lend money to family, while the Church states that families should care for one another however they can. Some say that women should be able to work full time even though they have children, while the Church reminds us that families are the most important thing in this life. Some women judge each other viciously on how clean their homes are, how much money they spend and what designer they are wearing. I myself got so caught up in this that I was consumed by stress in thinking of decorating and creating my daughter's first birthday party several months away!

I absolutely LOVED Relief Society General President Julie B. Beck 's talk "And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit." She discusses one way of thinking that has been pushed on mother's, the need to "get away." Some women believe that every woman should get a break when stressed and not have to deal with children or responsibilities.

I have had no opportunity to do such a thing since the incredibly stressful birth and care of our daughter. I have worked ridiculous hours and had more responsibility on me than I ever though I could handle. Often when I see other's taking a vacation from it all I hear the voice of jealousy saying "Do I not deserve a break too?" Thankfully President Beck refutes this need by saying that "A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. "

She says as a mother your responsibility is to care for your children and to do so by the guidance of the Holy Ghost. And that the best way to receive this guidance is by reading the scriptures. "Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. " I can definitely attest to this as the stories I read have very vividly applied to my life immediately to shortly after I have studied them.

I have struggled with Relief Society for many years now. Our meetings sometimes do not have the welcoming and loving feeling that I had always envisioned Relief Society to have. While I know that such things depend a lot on me, I was very much enlightened by what Sister Beck said: "Entrance into Relief Society signifies that a woman can be trusted and relied upon to make a significant contribution in the Church. She continues to progress as an individual without receiving much outward credit or praise. " Relief Society, while it is a place to gather and feel unity, is also an individual responsibility placed on a Sister. It is my responsibility. I should stop thinking about what Relief Society should be doing for me or how it should be making me feel, but rather what I should be doing for it as a member.

She quoted Eliza R. Snow in saying "Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters?" To be honest when I heard this I felt like I had received a much deserved slap to the face. I really needed to hear that. I need to stop worrying about other's opinion's and how things make me feel. I want to be a woman, so I am going to act like a woman.

Sister Beck is truly incredible. She points out that life is life, it is difficult and a struggle. And "When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves." I have a new found outlook on life: I want to embody what it means to be a woman.

What baing a Woman means to me:
- I am dependable
- I do what is right no matter what
- I teach my children correct principles and am an example of such principles
- I do not need acceptance from others
- My self worth is not negotiable and is set by Heavenly Father
- I am full of joy
- I am selfless and patient
- I do not loose my temper
- I am a hard worker
- I am creative

What does being a woman mean to you?